Conscious Parenting

I've been thinking a lot lately about false beliefs. In the psychology world, these are misconceptions that we hold dearly in our inner psyche. They are subconscious beliefs that govern our attitudes in life.
Did you know that most of our habits, beliefs, and especially misconceptions, were developed during our childhood? Of course you knew that, but did you really KNOW that? Have you ever taken the time to contemplate why you act, think, and most importantly, react a certain way?

For example, I am a mom on the move. I don't have time for nonsense. I need to go, go, go. Things to do. The problem with that is that it makes life hard to enjoy. It causes me to rush my children through life, especially my middle child--My Little Lion.
My Little Lion is almost my mirror image. She's so much like me it hurts. She's independent, quietly observant, and very head-strong. She's also incredibly, meticulously sloooooooow. I am constantly yelling at her to get moving. 
"Why are you so slow?" 
"Hurry up!" 

Now isn't it odd that I remember my mother saying the same to me. Me of all people! But I'm soooooo FAST!

Sigh.

Light bulb.  I get it.

I wasn't always this swift. I was compelled into a lifestyle of endless rushing because life just couldn't wait for me. Somewhere along the line, I came to truly believe that life will pass me by if I didn't hurry to catch up.  And the irony is that life IS passing me by and I am not enjoying it.  Roses are not worth stopping to smell because there's a bus to catch. The sunset is undeserving of careful observation because dinner needs to get on the table. I'm afraid that if I don't stop to think about this and challenge this false belief, the same thing will happen to my daughter. Everything that makes her who she is--her conscientious  observing nature, will have no place in this fast-paced world. I will have yanked it out of her like a weed and all that will be left is the same damaging false belief: "Hurry up! Life will not wait for you."

And there are far more damaging beliefs I can pass on: women are unworthy of being loved; sexual attention is a form of flattery;  it's ok to react violently towards your children because that's the way we've always gotten them to listen...and soon and so forth. The more I think about ways I react to certain things, the more I see these false beliefs I developed in my early years. Sure, some of it is nature, but so much more is nurture.
It's a vicious cycle. This is why people that are abused will abuse, children of alcoholics will themselves develop vices. It takes a conscious decision to break the cycle. I have made the realization that I simply cannot parent mindlessly. My children are blank slates, and if my voice is to become their subconscious, I'd like for it be a voice of reason.
It's not easy to change. I struggle to be more patient everyday.  I'm not perfect and probably never will be. But I will parent consciously.  That's a start.