It takes a village. At least it used to. It used to be that people knew the value of the whole village raising, disciplining, and really loving children. Nowadays, it's more like and island. We're on our own figuring out this parenting thing. And the more independent we become, the more we teach our children to be the same. I think in large part, children are not respectful of others is because they're not taught to esteem the discipline of other elders.
How often do you see a helicopter mom fly get in the way of a good schooling her child is about to receive? "Don't you yell at my child!" "Mind your business." What does that say to the child? " I don't have to respect this lady, she's not my mom." A favorite saying of teens nowadays. This sets up a bad culture for the care-takers, educators, and even spouses of the future.
Boys are taught from an early age to be disrespectful to women except for their beloved moms. This eventually translates into how they will treat their wives. Girls are taught to stand their ground and not to take "it" from nobody. In the long run, they have a problem submitting to their husbands because after all, they aren't their daddy's.
Am I over reacting? Really? Well perhaps our <50% divorce rate indicates otherwise? Couples can't see past differences, can't agree on parenting, can't submit to one another.
What about our incivility toward others? Hop on any form of public transport and you'll quickly see what I mean. Offering a seat to the elderly is an unwelcome task to our modern-day gentlemen. How have we managed to get so disconnected from our humanity?
What about our failing education system? There are several fingers to point there, but ultimately, it is the students that do not take it seriously and the parents that do not back up the teachers.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating hitting other's children or out-of-place melding. But if I don't notice my child doing something wrong, feel free to give them a verbal reprimand. In my experience, it has more weight when it doesn't come from me anyways. Sure, there have been times when I've disagreed with what an elder is complaining about (especially when it comes to my Little Lion's wild spirit) but I keep that to myself. I try not to send the message that it's ok to disrespect your elders.
In fact, I can't imagine how hard it is for them nowadays. A generation that grew up with so much guidance has now seen their years of experience and Influence wither away to meaningless babble. And we suffer too because we no longer have the wisdom of those seasoned in this parenting gig.
We are now plagued with the responsibility of parenting our children all on our own. It's difficult and honestly, quite lonely. I can't tell you how many times I hung my head in shame because I just didn't know what I could do to get my children to be model citizens. How many times I beat myself up because I just couldn't keep up with the house and be a parent at the same time. And there were the nights I cried because it was too much-- I yelled at my kids; I was mean; I was imperfect. And I felt alone.
I should note that I have a fantastic husband who is an amazing father. So if I felt this way, I can't imagine what others might feel like. It's sad that we have to feel this way when we were never meant to do it alone. No one is an island and no one should have to parent like one. Now, where is my village?
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