"It didn't happen to me"

I've heard many disturbing things related to the Kavanaugh confirmation lately.

The crux of the issue seems to be, if it's true, why wait so long? At this point, is it even relevant?

One of the comments in particular that I read on social media this week sent me down a deep dark tunnel of thoughts. It was from a woman who had learned that her grandfather had molested her mother many years after the fact.  She never said anything while he was alive, and as a result, the granddaughter had always known him to be a kind and loving grandfather and provider for his family. So she was grateful that he was given a chance to "right his wrongs" otherwise, she wouldn't have known him to be the "family pillar" that he was all those years later.

In other words, it wouldn't have been beneficial to her and definitely not the grandfather, if her mom had spoken up sooner. I don't know all the details of the situation, obviously, but from the little information I extracted, it seems like it was just brushed under the rug.  He changed, so it was never "worth" making him face what he did.

But, what if something else had happened?  What if this "great guy" were to strike again and someone else had to suffer as a result?  What about the fact that ONE child suffered because of what he did?  Is just one person's experience worth something?

Sometimes we have this attitude that "it didn't happen to me, and it was in the past, so it doesn't matter." We have a tendency to overlook victims in favor of weighing the effect on us.

Sure, everyone has the right to rehabilitate and change. Everyone has the right to care about how actions from their past will affect their families now. But you also have the right have to own up to your truth.

Kavanaugh stated that his 10 year old daughter asked to pray for Ford.  If this is true, then she's likely the most enlightened person in his family. She is well aware how this has affected her father's victim.

Of course for this poor child, it would be preferable to believe that it's a lie and her father is not this monster being described. She has only ever known him as loving and kind. And yet, if it is true, then she is yet another victim of his crimes--not only the abuse, but his inability to own up to it.

All these years he's been living his life without reprieve, enjoying privileged life while his victim has been in prison.

Because, let's be clear--victims of abuse don't just move on. They try to continue with their life, but the nightmares still come. That instinct to recoil at when someone accidentally brushes against you on public transportation will strike when least expected. The constant discussion of abuse suddenly in the media will send you on an downward emotional spiral so fast you can barely breathe.

Can you imagine what it would be like to have the monster who haunts your dreams not only exalted and given a position above reproach?  The same man who didn't once bat an eye at your suffering or reach out to alleviate some of the destruction he caused.  It's enough to make anyone scream try to make their voice heard, no matter the consequences.

So when is the right time to make amends?

When is the right time to scrutinize our highest officials and hold them to better standards?

This isn’t about politics.  It is about human dignity.

If you don't give a voice to the victims now, who will give you one if it happens to you?

"Your silence will not protect you." -Audre Lorde